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愛你在心口難開 中國家庭為啥不說“我愛你”

"I love you" might be one of the most important combinations of three words in the English language. It's the signal that a romantic relationship is serious, an indication of closeness for a sibling, parent, or child, and a constant refrain for pop songs。

  I love you可能是英語中三個詞組成的最重要的一句話了。它是認真對待戀愛關系的標志,它是兄弟姐妹、父母或孩子之間親密程度的象征,它也是流行歌曲副歌部分的常見內容。

  In Mandarin, "I love you" translates as “我愛你” (Wo ai ni), but the way it's used in China might be a little different, and Chinese state media is wondering why。

  I love you譯為中文是“我愛你”,但是這句話在中國的用法可能有點兒不同,中國的官方媒體也想知道原因。

  The Global Times reports that two online videos showing children telling their parents "I love you" have gone viral in China. The first, filmed by an Anhui TV station, shows a number of college students telling their parents they love them. The response are mixed. "Are you drunk?" asked one parent. In another similar video, shot by a Shanxi TV station, a father responded even more bluntly — "I am going to a meeting, so cut the crap."

  《環球時報》報道,網上兩個記錄孩子告訴父母“我愛你”的視頻在中國火了起來。第一個視頻是由安徽衛視錄制的,在視頻里一群大學生告訴父母自己愛他們。父母們的反應各不相同。“你喝醉了嗎?”一位家長[微博]問。另一個類似的視頻是山西衛視錄制的,有一名父親的反應就更不客氣了——“我要去開會去了,廢話少說。”

  Even the positive reactions make it clear that the words are expressed rarely: "I am so happy you called to say that, it is the happiest thing that happened to me in 2014," one parent answered。

  即使是正面的回應也清楚地表明這句話用得很少:“我很高興你打電話說這句話,這是我2014年最開心的一件事了。” 有個家長這樣回答。

  Why don't Chinese families use those words? Theories revolve around the nature of Confucian teaching. "The parents' responses show that many Chinese are not good at expressing positive emotions," Xia Xueluan, a sociologist from Peking University, told the Global Times. "They are used to educating children with negative language."

  為什么中國家庭不說這句話呢?普遍的觀點認為是受到儒家思想的影響。“父母們的反應表明大部分的中國人不擅長表達積極的情感,” 北京大學[微博]社會學家夏學鑾對《環球時報》的記者說。“他們習慣用負面的語言來教育孩子。”

  This isn't the first time that China has done some soul-searching about familial love — last year China Daily asked a cross-section of people if they said 'I love you' to their parents, spouses, and children. "I have never said 'I love you' to my family, and I don't think I will in the future," one 56-year-old told the paper. "Saying it aloud is embarrassing for me."

  這不是中國第一次做關于親情方面的自省——去年《中國日報》就各個階層的人進行了采訪,詢問他們是否對父母、愛人和孩子說過“我愛你”。“我從來沒對我的家人說過‘我愛你’,我覺得我以后也不會說,”一名56歲的被采訪者回答《中國日報》的記者。“把這句話說出口,我會覺得很難為情的。”


  Still, that doesn't mean that love can't be expressed. In a separate article, China Daily spoke to Zhao Mengmeng, a 31-year-old woman who said she had never told her father she loved him face-to-face ("I find it a bit odd"). Sometimes actions speak louder than words, however — Zhao gave her father, a photo album featuring photographs of them together on almost every one of her birthdays in June 2012. The pictures went viral online, being forwarded hundreds of thousands of times on Weibo。

  然而這并不是說愛無法表達出來。在另一篇文章中,《中國日報》采訪了31歲的趙萌萌,她說她從來沒當面對她爸爸說過她愛他。“我覺得那樣會怪怪的”,但有時行動勝于言辭——趙萌萌在2012年6月送給了她爸爸一個相冊,里面裝滿了他們兩人在她幾乎每個生日時的合影。照片在網上火了起來,在新浪微博上被轉發了幾十萬次。

  "I didn't sleep the night I heard about it," her father told China Daily after the story attracted mainstream attention. "I have now memorized some of the comments on the collection of pictures."

  “當我知道時,我一晚上沒睡,” 在這件事受到了主流媒體的關注后,她爸爸這樣告訴《中國日報》的記者。“現在我還能記起一些有關這些照片的評論。”

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